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A slightly insane mother to three girls ages 11,11, and 5. I live/love to find the humor in being a parent.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Tween Kryptonite

I will admit it here publicly for all. I like the Disney channel. There, I said it. Last night was the finale for Wizards of Waverly Place. I could hear the screams of excitement in the other room as the big premiere of who gets to be the family wizard was aired. The Disney channel has been counting down the days and my daughters have been waiting with anticipation. I acted all cool, like I didn't care, but guess where I was when the show aired? Yup, sitting right in front of the TV with my girls. When Hannah Montana had it's finale, I was in the same place.  I am 36 years old and was as riveted to the TV as my tweens!

One of the cool things about having children is that you DO get to be a kid again. I play with Barbies and was probably more excited than my four year old when she opened her dollhouse for her birthday. We just put a swing set up in the backyard, it is the kind that hold a lot of weight, now I can swing with the girls! There is something so free about hanging with your kids.  I am able to loose all inhibitions, much like my carefree college days! Lately I think I have been enjoying it more because they are starting to realize how embarrassing and dorky I really am.

Sometimes I will break into song and dance when their "tween" music videos pop up on Disney or Nickelodeon. I suddenly hear "MOM!!" or "STOP!!" or just watch them squirm with embarrassment (and it's just us!).  I have discovered their kryptonite!  Gone are the days when my little ones used to ask for me to sing with them,  the twins actually did not realize how embarrassing I was to them until a few years ago. Unfortunately my four year old has picked up on it rather quickly and constantly joins in the chorus of groans and screams when I sing and or dance.

So now I just have to use my weapon wisely. Maybe when they refuse to do homework? When they talk back? I am not beyond blackmail either. In this digital age, all I have to do make a video and threaten to upload it to youtube or send it off to all of their friends.  Hannah, who already has a "date" for the fifth grade dance, would be mortified if I showed up as a chaperone and proceeded to "do my thang" in front of all her "tweenrager" friends.  The possibilities are endless.

I have no desire to be a "cool" mom, or my daughters "best friend". I just want to make sure they stay in line and make the right choices in life. If I have to use blatant mortification to to get the job , than so be it.  I have an edge on all the hip size zero mom's. When my daughter tries to wear those cut off with the belly showing, so shall I; muffin top, stretch marks, and all. I will threaten to prance in front of her friends until she changes her clothes. Angelina Jolie has nothing on me, she's just way too cool to be an effective parent and I have no shame when it comes to my kids. 

So I say to all the tween moms out there, embrace the  tween kryptonite!

 ©2012 Amy E. Silverstein. All rights reserved.


  1. HAH! Love it :-)

    Also: WHO IS THE FAMILY WIZARD?? *cough* Not that I like Wizards of Waverly Place...

  2. I watched it too, Amy. And I liked the ending! I start singing to embarass my 8-year-old - it works quite well!